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Q: What’s the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky’s mouth?
A: 1 U.S. leader
Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float.
Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A: Beat it - we’re closed.
Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.
Q: What’s the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it’s a shame to pull it out.
Q: What’s the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio’s face, and moaning, “Lie to me!”
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
Q: If there isH2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P.
Q: What’s another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill-dough.
Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky’s cheeks so puffy?
A: She’s withholding evidence.
Q: What’s the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sleep with a light on.
Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?
A: You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand.
Q: What’s the height of conceit?
A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q: What’s the definition of macho?
A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it’s worth it.
Q: What’s the best way to kill a man?
A: Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him.
Then tell him to pick only one.
Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every
woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to instruction manuals
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