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December 31, 2006

Teen Nubile Free Sites

Teen for Money A blonde teen babe has a fuck and sucks dicks for money.

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—–

December 29, 2006

2company group sex

Our parties are usually nothing to be laughed at and this one
turned out to be no exception.

We didn’t have as many people as we expected but we did get the ‘core’
group of people together so we had a quality party rather than a quantity
party. On the whole, it was a WONDERFUL occasion. Steve, as usual, brought a
gorgeous woman along to introduce to the crowd.

Shelly was incredibly cute. A little short, 5′4″ or so, and a little
heavy, but, for some reason I was immediately attracted to her. I walked over
to Steve and whispered in his ear

“Who’s the babe?”

“Oh, don’t know you Shelly?” he said with mock surprise. “Shelly, this
is kurt, kurt this is Shelly”

“Hi, I’m Kurt, nice to meet you.”

“We usually call him ‘Speedy’”

“Hey, buddy, I don’t need any more of your shit tonight.”

“Well its true” he said with a grin.

“Yeah, well…” It wasn’t worth trying to salvage a good first
impression with him around. I decided I would try a little later.

“Im Shelly…We met before a couple months ago in Chicago”, she said,
offering me her hand.
(more…)

December 28, 2006

Fantasy Lana

Filed under: Uncategorized, teens teen xxx , Sweet Cherrys — Administrator @ 10:03 am

As she closed the door behind her, Lana felt more alone than she had ever felt in her entire life. Far different from the way she felt last night. For the first time in years, she felt so wanted, so desired…, so alive. Statistics might show that most people that have just completed a night of “indiscretions” would be thinking about their significant others and the pain that the circumstances might cause them.

The only thing that Lana could think about as she walked through New Orleans’ French Quarter was how much she must have hurt David. He seems like a very “down to earth” type of guy. He is someone that she should have met years ago, before she made the biggest mistake of her life; before she married Jay.

After she went to the parking garage and paid the bill, she steered toward Canal Street. While negotiating the heavy evening traffic, she simply could not get David’s image out of her mind. What had she done?

When she drove into the driveway of the modest home she and her husband shared, Lana sat in her car for several minutes gathering her thoughts. She couldn’t get David out of her mind. It wasn’t long before she saw her husband’s 5’9” 185 pound muscular frame walking towards her car from the back yard.

As Lana exited the car, she went to the trunk and retrieved a small over night bag that she had. Before she could close the trunk’s lid, she could hear Jay yelling at her. “That fucking conference was supposed to be over by noon, where the fuck have you been?” he yelled.

Before she could respond, she saw her vision blacken as he slapped her across the face. She could instantly taste her own blood at the corner of her mouth as she felt herself being thrown into the side of her car by the surprise blow. She knew that if she fought back, the beating would be worse; so she picked herself up and made her way towards the house without saying a word.

But Jay wasn’t that quick to stop. Lana could hear him yelling and screaming at her the whole way into the house. Once inside the house, she felt him slap her in the back of the head. The force of the blow sent her into a nearby wall. Having had enough, Lana stood up and starting swinging back at her abusive husband. In the course of the fight, she could feel every blow that Jay delivered to her ribs and face. After what seemed like forever, Lana gave up the fight and fell to the floor as he delivered another powerful blow to the side of her head.

Jay couldn’t let it go at that though. He stood over his abused wife and continued his verbal assault. When he was finished his yelling, Jay stood and left the room. Lana lay on the floor for what seemed like hours crying her eyes out. After several minutes, she struggled to pick herself up from the floor and went to the bathroom to clean up.

She knew that this would happen. When she arrived home early the day before and packed the small bag, Jay was still at work. She called him at the shop and told him about a “Conference” that she had to attend in Baton Rouge for small business owners.

She knew it was a lie but she just couldn’t pull herself from the thought of spending an evening with David. Although the “date” wasn’t supposed to last all night and into the next day, she wouldn’t have changed one thing about the time she spent with him. For the first time in years, she lived a dream.

Lana spent the rest of the evening tending to her injuries. Neither Jay nor Lana spoke to each other for the remainder of the night.

The next day came sooner than she wanted. When the alarm clock started ringing at 4AM, Lana rolled over and felt the pain in her sides from the beating that she sustained the night before at the hands of the man that was supposed to love her. She pulled herself out of bed and into the bathroom for a morning shower. Looking into the small shaving mirror that Jay has in the shower, she could easily see that her face was already starting to show some signs of bruising.

After her shower, Lana went into the kitchen and made her a small pot of coffee then sat and started fingering through her small personal phone book. Looking at the phone numbers in the book, Lana contemplated whether or not she should call her assistant manager to cover the shop today.

The more she thought about it, the more she knew that she wanted to go in. She wanted to go to the shop in hopes that David would show up. She really wanted to see David again. After finishing her coffee, she went and began applying a liberal amount of make-up to try and camouflage her bruising. Once she was ready for work, she went into the bedroom to wake up Jay so he could go into work as well.

To her surprise, she walked in and found that he was already in the walk-in closet retrieving his clothes for the day. Just as the night before, neither spoke to each other for the first several minutes. As Lana started walking out of the room, Jay finally spoke, “Lana, I’m sorry about last night, I didn’t take into account that you may have run into traffic on your way back or even that the conference may have run over”.

Lana couldn’t believe this bastard. How could he actually be so stupid as to think that she would actually like getting beaten down at least once every month and that a simple “… I’m sorry” could make it all better? “Jay, I’m tired of the bull shit. What happened last night will never happen again I can promise you that.”

Jay walked over to Lana and tried to give her a hug saying, “Baby I was drinking and you know how I get when I‘m drinking”

Moving away from him to avoid the hug, Lana replied, “Jay, you inconsiderate prick, you are supposed to love and cherish me and not beat the shit out of me.”

With a tear in his eye, Jay sat on the bed and put his face in his hands. “Baby, it will never happen again I promise”.

As Lana began to walk out of the door, she looked back and gathered every ounce of courage she had left, “Your fucking right it won’t”. With that she simply left the room and made her way out of the house.

Driving to work that morning was like any other morning other than the fact that she started to reflect on her life. How in the hell did her life take such a drastic turn. She could remember the happier days when she loved life. She thought about the day she met Jay and then their wedding day. Everything seemed so perfect.

Before they got married, she knew he had a “mean streak” because he slapped her around a little bit while they were dating. But she could also remember that she grew up with this kind of abuse. Her father beat on her mother regularly. So to her, it was the way of life. But she never believed that it would get to this point. She never believed that Jay would continue this.

She was living a lie and she realized that a long time ago. It wasn’t that she felt dependant on Jay because she brings in more financial income with her coffee shop than he does working as a mechanic.

Thinking back, she remembers how things took a turn for the worse when she caught him cheating on her about 5 years before. It was when he started his body building hobby. It was with one of those blonde bimbos that hung around the gym looking for muscle men. When she caught him in the parking lot of the gym getting a blow job, she took a bat and broke every window on his car.

To this day, she still believes that had she not done that, Jay would have never noticed her standing by the window watching another woman sucking his dick. That’s when the real beatings began. Later that night after he finally found his way home, they really got into a huge fight. She thought that she was holding her own until she woke up the next morning in a hospital.

She knew that he had been having affairs ever since. She had caught him on several occasions around town with other women. Not just in the same room as other women but actually hugging, kissing, and groping other women. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure it out.

From then on, things became progressively worse. In the beginning, she started making excuses for him. First it was the pressures of his job, and then it was that he was using anabolic steroids to help his body building competitions, and then finally it was that he started drinking heavily. During the course of these phases, she even went through the phase where she felt it was all her fault that he was beating her. But as time went on, she realized that it wasn’t her, the pressures of his job, the steroids, or even the drinking. She came to realize that it was none of those things. It was Jay and only Jay.

She came to this realization approximately three years ago. The only reason she never left was because she was terrified of what he would do if she did.

It was then that Lana began “living in her stories”, as her friends put it. She began to read several short stories that she collected from various internet sites. Most of the ones she read were of a sexual nature but she much preferred those w/ a combination of sex and romance. She always hoped that one day; her prince charming would come into her life.

The authors that she came across on a few of these sites never used their real names but instead had “pen names”. Much to her surprise, there were both men and women that wrote these fictitious tales. She mainly stayed with the ones written by women because by her own experiences, men know nothing about romance.

That was until she came across a single pen name that just intrigued her to no end. The name itself reminded her of the Tom Cruise character in the 1980’s movie “Top Gun”. She simply loved that movie. It was by far her favorite movie of all time. She loved the romantic side that Tom Cruise projected. His part was “masculine yet sensual”. She liked that quality in men. She could only imagine that “Capt Maverick’s” writings would be the same.

She first read one of his stories about an encounter in Australia. Much to her surprise, it actually had some passion involved. It was a story about a married woman that met someone then had a passionate weekend with the guy. She was actually impressed that a man had those types of passionate thoughts. After that, she was hooked on his writing style; she eagerly looked for his work every chance she got. If only she could meet someone like him she thought.

Before long she was in the Quarter and made her way to her coffee shop. Every time she heard the small bell ringing on the front door, she looked to see if it was David. Much to her dismay, he never showed. Between customers, Lana even walked to the window several times hoping to see him.

After a few hours she felt comfortable that the day’s business could do without her, she called it a day.

Once she left the coffee shop she drove to Decatur Street and parked next to Jefferson Square. Lana sat near the water front for hours thinking about everything that she has been through. Her thoughts went from her childhood to present day. She couldn’t help but think about the night before last when she and David were in this very spot bonding. They spent hours just talking about each other. It was definitely a night to remember.

When Lana finally left the Quarter, it was late afternoon. She wasn’t surprised to see that Jay was already home when she showed up. This could only mean one thing. He must have been drinking for lunch again and sent home for being drunk. She couldn’t even begin to count all the times this has happened. He was on his eighth job in the last six months because of his drinking.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she walked into the door and he started yelling first thing. She wasn’t three feet in the door when he started. This was no different than most other days. Not in the mood for any of this, she simply turned down the hallway towards the bedroom without saying a word.

It was business as usual until she saw one of her crystal vases flying past her head and crashing against the wall. Seconds later, she could hear him running at her and then she felt something hit the back of her head.

Not long after that, she opened her eyes again and looked up at Jay from the floor of the hallway. By instinct, she felt the back of her head and found that her hair was wet. Looking at her hand it was coated in thick crimson colored blood from the back of her skull. She has seen blood before but she never realized that it was so thick and dark.

Before she knew what was happening to her, Jay was on top of her punching her in the face. Trying to dodge the blows, she could feel it when Jay broke her nose. She instantly saw a bright flash of light as his closed fist made contact with her face time and time again causing the detrimental damage.

She finally realized that he was standing over her mid section when she got over the initial shock of the assault. Lana raised her left foot with every ounce of strength she had left and made contact with Jay’s crotch. She could only hope that the impact sent his testicles to the top of his skull.

Jay fell to the floor as Lana’s foot made contact. Lana was barely able to crawl away from him as he tried reaching for her feet. Lana stumbled towards the bedroom as she felt large amounts of blood working its way into and burning her eyes.

Lana struggled to make it to her bedroom but Jay was already on his feet and staggering towards her. She was so dizzy from the blow to the head that she nearly blacked out again. When Jay reached Lana, he grabbed her by the hair and pushed her face first into the wall.

The blow must have knocked her unconscious for a few minutes because the next thing she realized was that Jay was now sitting on his reclining chair in the living room as if nothing was going on.

Not wanting to make him aware of the fact that she was awake, Lana quietly tried crawling towards the bedroom to call the police. She knew that she needed to get to a hospital soon or she would certainly die. Just as she was reaching the bedroom door, she heard Jay hollering at her again. She struggled to get inside the door. Just as she went to close the door, Jay was there.

As Lana was trying to close the door, Jay was simultaneously pushing it inwards. The struggle went on for several minutes until Lana cocked her fist back then drove it straight into Jay’s crotch once again. As Jay was doubled over in the door way, Lana reached for a small stool nearby.

She struggled to gain some form of balanced footage as she stood up and swung the stool upwards striking Jay squarely in the face. The impact with Jay’s face knocked him backwards into the hallway. Once the doorway was clear, Lana closed and locked it. She went to a chair sitting in the corner of the room and moved the back of it underneath the door knob.

Lana expected to hear movement in the hallway but was surprised that she didn’t. Looking at the stool, she could clearly see two teeth embedded into the top of it. As Lana turned to walk to the opposite side of the room, she lost her balance and fell to the floor again. She knew this was because of the massive head injury that she sustained at the hands of her husband. Gathering up every ounce of strength that she could, Lana struggled to reach the phone.

The journey took what seemed like forever. When she reached the phone, Lana’s first thought was to call David; her “Sir Lancelot”. Had she known how to contact him she definitely would have. But as quickly as the thought came to her, it diminished with the realization that she probably chased him away forever anyway.

Picking up the receiver, she started dialing the 9-1-1 emergency line when she heard a thunderous crash against the bedroom door. The crash was accompanied by the sounds of Jay yelling at her to open the door. Looking over, she could see that the door was straining inwards at the amount of force being applied from the other side every time Jay rammed his body into it but the chair was holding the door in place.

Lana began to panic as the phone continued to ring at the Emergency Center. As the operator on the other side of the phone answered, Lana could hear the wood beginning to crack under the extensive strain of the impact every time Jay hit it.

Lana screamed into the phone receiver for help as Jay’s assault on the door was successful. As Jay ran towards her, she continued to scream for help yelling that her husband was trying to kill her. When he reached Lana, they both fell to the floor between the bed and the wall as the fight ensued. Jay was once again on top of Lana beating her to a pulp while she laid on her back.

The emergency operator could hear everything as the struggle continued. The operator quickly typed in the caller’s address into the computer aided dispatching system simultaneously sending several patrol cars and an ambulance to the location of the incident.

As Lana struggled for her life, her arm ended up underneath the bed. To her surprise, she felt her hand strike something unusual. Realizing that it was Jay’s gun, she quickly struggled to gain control of it while trying to fight him off. By the time she had control of the 40 caliber pistol, she had already received several more blows to her face and head. As Lana brought the handgun out from under the bed, Jay caught sight of it. He stopped his assault and tried to gain control of the pistol. Lana began to lose consciousness again as Jay started to bang her head into the floor while they struggled for control of the weapon.

The emergency operator continued to send information across the computer aided dispatching system to the responding officers as she was trained to do. Still listening to Lana’s pleas for help through the open phone line, the operator’s stomach dropped as she heard a gunshot seconds before the phone line went dead.

As she closed the door behind her, Lana felt more alone than she had ever felt in her entire life. Far different from the way she felt last night. For the first time in years, she felt so wanted, so desired…, so alive. Statistics might show that most people that have just completed a night of “indiscretions” would be thinking about their significant others and the pain that the circumstances might cause them.

The only thing that Lana could think about as she walked through New Orleans’ French Quarter was how much she must have hurt David. He seems like a very “down to earth” type of guy. He is someone that she should have met years ago, before she made the biggest mistake of her life; before she married Jay.

After she went to the parking garage and paid the bill, she steered toward Canal Street. While negotiating the heavy evening traffic, she simply could not get David’s image out of her mind. What had she done?

When she drove into the driveway of the modest home she and her husband shared, Lana sat in her car for several minutes gathering her thoughts. She couldn’t get David out of her mind. It wasn’t long before she saw her husband’s 5’9” 185 pound muscular frame walking towards her car from the back yard.

As Lana exited the car, she went to the trunk and retrieved a small over night bag that she had. Before she could close the trunk’s lid, she could hear Jay yelling at her. “That fucking conference was supposed to be over by noon, where the fuck have you been?” he yelled.

Before she could respond, she saw her vision blacken as he slapped her across the face. She could instantly taste her own blood at the corner of her mouth as she felt herself being thrown into the side of her car by the surprise blow. She knew that if she fought back, the beating would be worse; so she picked herself up and made her way towards the house without saying a word.

But Jay wasn’t that quick to stop. Lana could hear him yelling and screaming at her the whole way into the house. Once inside the house, she felt him slap her in the back of the head. The force of the blow sent her into a nearby wall. Having had enough, Lana stood up and starting swinging back at her abusive husband. In the course of the fight, she could feel every blow that Jay delivered to her ribs and face. After what seemed like forever, Lana gave up the fight and fell to the floor as he delivered another powerful blow to the side of her head.

Jay couldn’t let it go at that though. He stood over his abused wife and continued his verbal assault. When he was finished his yelling, Jay stood and left the room. Lana lay on the floor for what seemed like hours crying her eyes out. After several minutes, she struggled to pick herself up from the floor and went to the bathroom to clean up.

She knew that this would happen. When she arrived home early the day before and packed the small bag, Jay was still at work. She called him at the shop and told him about a “Conference” that she had to attend in Baton Rouge for small business owners.

She knew it was a lie but she just couldn’t pull herself from the thought of spending an evening with David. Although the “date” wasn’t supposed to last all night and into the next day, she wouldn’t have changed one thing about the time she spent with him. For the first time in years, she lived a dream.

Lana spent the rest of the evening tending to her injuries. Neither Jay nor Lana spoke to each other for the remainder of the night.

The next day came sooner than she wanted. When the alarm clock started ringing at 4AM, Lana rolled over and felt the pain in her sides from the beating that she sustained the night before at the hands of the man that was supposed to love her. She pulled herself out of bed and into the bathroom for a morning shower. Looking into the small shaving mirror that Jay has in the shower, she could easily see that her face was already starting to show some signs of bruising.

After her shower, Lana went into the kitchen and made her a small pot of coffee then sat and started fingering through her small personal phone book. Looking at the phone numbers in the book, Lana contemplated whether or not she should call her assistant manager to cover the shop today.

The more she thought about it, the more she knew that she wanted to go in. She wanted to go to the shop in hopes that David would show up. She really wanted to see David again. After finishing her coffee, she went and began applying a liberal amount of make-up to try and camouflage her bruising. Once she was ready for work, she went into the bedroom to wake up Jay so he could go into work as well.

To her surprise, she walked in and found that he was already in the walk-in closet retrieving his clothes for the day. Just as the night before, neither spoke to each other for the first several minutes. As Lana started walking out of the room, Jay finally spoke, “Lana, I’m sorry about last night, I didn’t take into account that you may have run into traffic on your way back or even that the conference may have run over”.

Lana couldn’t believe this bastard. How could he actually be so stupid as to think that she would actually like getting beaten down at least once every month and that a simple “… I’m sorry” could make it all better? “Jay, I’m tired of the bull shit. What happened last night will never happen again I can promise you that.”

Jay walked over to Lana and tried to give her a hug saying, “Baby I was drinking and you know how I get when I‘m drinking”

Moving away from him to avoid the hug, Lana replied, “Jay, you inconsiderate prick, you are supposed to love and cherish me and not beat the shit out of me.”

With a tear in his eye, Jay sat on the bed and put his face in his hands. “Baby, it will never happen again I promise”.

As Lana began to walk out of the door, she looked back and gathered every ounce of courage she had left, “Your fucking right it won’t”. With that she simply left the room and made her way out of the house.

Driving to work that morning was like any other morning other than the fact that she started to reflect on her life. How in the hell did her life take such a drastic turn. She could remember the happier days when she loved life. She thought about the day she met Jay and then their wedding day. Everything seemed so perfect.

Before they got married, she knew he had a “mean streak” because he slapped her around a little bit while they were dating. But she could also remember that she grew up with this kind of abuse. Her father beat on her mother regularly. So to her, it was the way of life. But she never believed that it would get to this point. She never believed that Jay would continue this.

She was living a lie and she realized that a long time ago. It wasn’t that she felt dependant on Jay because she brings in more financial income with her coffee shop than he does working as a mechanic.

Thinking back, she remembers how things took a turn for the worse when she caught him cheating on her about 5 years before. It was when he started his body building hobby. It was with one of those blonde bimbos that hung around the gym looking for muscle men. When she caught him in the parking lot of the gym getting a blow job, she took a bat and broke every window on his car.

To this day, she still believes that had she not done that, Jay would have never noticed her standing by the window watching another woman sucking his dick. That’s when the real beatings began. Later that night after he finally found his way home, they really got into a huge fight. She thought that she was holding her own until she woke up the next morning in a hospital.

She knew that he had been having affairs ever since. She had caught him on several occasions around town with other women. Not just in the same room as other women but actually hugging, kissing, and groping other women. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure it out.

From then on, things became progressively worse. In the beginning, she started making excuses for him. First it was the pressures of his job, and then it was that he was using anabolic steroids to help his body building competitions, and then finally it was that he started drinking heavily. During the course of these phases, she even went through the phase where she felt it was all her fault that he was beating her. But as time went on, she realized that it wasn’t her, the pressures of his job, the steroids, or even the drinking. She came to realize that it was none of those things. It was Jay and only Jay.

She came to this realization approximately three years ago. The only reason she never left was because she was terrified of what he would do if she did.

It was then that Lana began “living in her stories”, as her friends put it. She began to read several short stories that she collected from various internet sites. Most of the ones she read were of a sexual nature but she much preferred those w/ a combination of sex and romance. She always hoped that one day; her prince charming would come into her life.

The authors that she came across on a few of these sites never used their real names but instead had “pen names”. Much to her surprise, there were both men and women that wrote these fictitious tales. She mainly stayed with the ones written by women because by her own experiences, men know nothing about romance.

That was until she came across a single pen name that just intrigued her to no end. The name itself reminded her of the Tom Cruise character in the 1980’s movie “Top Gun”. She simply loved that movie. It was by far her favorite movie of all time. She loved the romantic side that Tom Cruise projected. His part was “masculine yet sensual”. She liked that quality in men. She could only imagine that “Capt Maverick’s” writings would be the same.

She first read one of his stories about an encounter in Australia. Much to her surprise, it actually had some passion involved. It was a story about a married woman that met someone then had a passionate weekend with the guy. She was actually impressed that a man had those types of passionate thoughts. After that, she was hooked on his writing style; she eagerly looked for his work every chance she got. If only she could meet someone like him she thought.

Before long she was in the Quarter and made her way to her coffee shop. Every time she heard the small bell ringing on the front door, she looked to see if it was David. Much to her dismay, he never showed. Between customers, Lana even walked to the window several times hoping to see him.

After a few hours she felt comfortable that the day’s business could do without her, she called it a day.

Once she left the coffee shop she drove to Decatur Street and parked next to Jefferson Square. Lana sat near the water front for hours thinking about everything that she has been through. Her thoughts went from her childhood to present day. She couldn’t help but think about the night before last when she and David were in this very spot bonding. They spent hours just talking about each other. It was definitely a night to remember.

When Lana finally left the Quarter, it was late afternoon. She wasn’t surprised to see that Jay was already home when she showed up. This could only mean one thing. He must have been drinking for lunch again and sent home for being drunk. She couldn’t even begin to count all the times this has happened. He was on his eighth job in the last six months because of his drinking.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she walked into the door and he started yelling first thing. She wasn’t three feet in the door when he started. This was no different than most other days. Not in the mood for any of this, she simply turned down the hallway towards the bedroom without saying a word.

It was business as usual until she saw one of her crystal vases flying past her head and crashing against the wall. Seconds later, she could hear him running at her and then she felt something hit the back of her head.

Not long after that, she opened her eyes again and looked up at Jay from the floor of the hallway. By instinct, she felt the back of her head and found that her hair was wet. Looking at her hand it was coated in thick crimson colored blood from the back of her skull. She has seen blood before but she never realized that it was so thick and dark.

Before she knew what was happening to her, Jay was on top of her punching her in the face. Trying to dodge the blows, she could feel it when Jay broke her nose. She instantly saw a bright flash of light as his closed fist made contact with her face time and time again causing the detrimental damage.

She finally realized that he was standing over her mid section when she got over the initial shock of the assault. Lana raised her left foot with every ounce of strength she had left and made contact with Jay’s crotch. She could only hope that the impact sent his testicles to the top of his skull.

Jay fell to the floor as Lana’s foot made contact. Lana was barely able to crawl away from him as he tried reaching for her feet. Lana stumbled towards the bedroom as she felt large amounts of blood working its way into and burning her eyes.

Lana struggled to make it to her bedroom but Jay was already on his feet and staggering towards her. She was so dizzy from the blow to the head that she nearly blacked out again. When Jay reached Lana, he grabbed her by the hair and pushed her face first into the wall.

The blow must have knocked her unconscious for a few minutes because the next thing she realized was that Jay was now sitting on his reclining chair in the living room as if nothing was going on.

Not wanting to make him aware of the fact that she was awake, Lana quietly tried crawling towards the bedroom to call the police. She knew that she needed to get to a hospital soon or she would certainly die. Just as she was reaching the bedroom door, she heard Jay hollering at her again. She struggled to get inside the door. Just as she went to close the door, Jay was there.

As Lana was trying to close the door, Jay was simultaneously pushing it inwards. The struggle went on for several minutes until Lana cocked her fist back then drove it straight into Jay’s crotch once again. As Jay was doubled over in the door way, Lana reached for a small stool nearby.

She struggled to gain some form of balanced footage as she stood up and swung the stool upwards striking Jay squarely in the face. The impact with Jay’s face knocked him backwards into the hallway. Once the doorway was clear, Lana closed and locked it. She went to a chair sitting in the corner of the room and moved the back of it underneath the door knob.

Lana expected to hear movement in the hallway but was surprised that she didn’t. Looking at the stool, she could clearly see two teeth embedded into the top of it. As Lana turned to walk to the opposite side of the room, she lost her balance and fell to the floor again. She knew this was because of the massive head injury that she sustained at the hands of her husband. Gathering up every ounce of strength that she could, Lana struggled to reach the phone.

The journey took what seemed like forever. When she reached the phone, Lana’s first thought was to call David; her “Sir Lancelot”. Had she known how to contact him she definitely would have. But as quickly as the thought came to her, it diminished with the realization that she probably chased him away forever anyway.

Picking up the receiver, she started dialing the 9-1-1 emergency line when she heard a thunderous crash against the bedroom door. The crash was accompanied by the sounds of Jay yelling at her to open the door. Looking over, she could see that the door was straining inwards at the amount of force being applied from the other side every time Jay rammed his body into it but the chair was holding the door in place.

Lana began to panic as the phone continued to ring at the Emergency Center. As the operator on the other side of the phone answered, Lana could hear the wood beginning to crack under the extensive strain of the impact every time Jay hit it.

Lana screamed into the phone receiver for help as Jay’s assault on the door was successful. As Jay ran towards her, she continued to scream for help yelling that her husband was trying to kill her. When he reached Lana, they both fell to the floor between the bed and the wall as the fight ensued. Jay was once again on top of Lana beating her to a pulp while she laid on her back.

The emergency operator could hear everything as the struggle continued. The operator quickly typed in the caller’s address into the computer aided dispatching system simultaneously sending several patrol cars and an ambulance to the location of the incident.

As Lana struggled for her life, her arm ended up underneath the bed. To her surprise, she felt her hand strike something unusual. Realizing that it was Jay’s gun, she quickly struggled to gain control of it while trying to fight him off. By the time she had control of the 40 caliber pistol, she had already received several more blows to her face and head. As Lana brought the handgun out from under the bed, Jay caught sight of it. He stopped his assault and tried to gain control of the pistol. Lana began to lose consciousness again as Jay started to bang her head into the floor while they struggled for control of the weapon.

The emergency operator continued to send information across the computer aided dispatching system to the responding officers as she was trained to do. Still listening to Lana’s pleas for help through the open phone line, the operator’s stomach dropped as she heard a gunshot seconds before the phone line went dead.

by Capt Maverick

December 23, 2006

Sapphic Story

Filed under: Uncategorized, lesbian teen xxx , Teen Body , sex toys — Administrator @ 6:24 am

The Girls

My entire outlook on sex has turned around in the past year, and
I must admit that it has been a turn for the better. I am a
thirty-five-year-old business woman who has been divorced for
five years, and I am trying to get my daughter through college. I
have tried to keep myself in relatively good shape so that I will
remain attractive to the opposite sex.

About six months ago I was out on a date with an old friend of
mine. My daughter, Suzanne, was at home with two of her friends
from the local college, and she didn’t expect me home until much
later. I had no sooner arrived at my friends house than I got the
worst headache ever. After about thirty minutes I realized that I
would be no fun for the evening. I apologized to tom and returned
home.

I came in the back door of my town house and was ready to tell
Suzanne that I was home, when I heard giggling coming from the
basement. I walked over to look downstairs and almost fainted!
Suzanne, Carol and Amy were all sitting around on the floor in
various stages of undress. At first I was furious, but then I
decided to watch and listen to what was going on. Amy had the
least on, a skimpy pair of light-blue bikini panties. My daughter
had her jeans on, but nothing else. Carol had on a flannel shirt,
which was unbuttoned, revealing well-developed breasts.

Her friend Amy is a real beauty, with long blonde hair, a great
face and a great body. As I watched, I heard Amy telling the
other two how great it felt to have her breasts touched. She
began lightly touching the undersides of her breasts with the
palms of her hands until her nipples were erect. Then she began
squeezing each one firmly, rubbing especially hard around each
nipple. As she rubbed herself passionately, she urged each girl to
try it. Suzanne was giggling, saying she hoped it would make them
grow, and Carol was just looking on in a daze as she touched each
breast lightly. After about two or three minutes the giggling
stopped and the heavy breathing began. I didn’t know what to do.
I wanted to yell, but I couldn’t.

Now Amy gently removed carols shirt and told her how beautiful
she was and how the guys must love to fondle and suck her
breasts. She told Carol to close her eyes. Amy lowered her head
to her neck and began kissing her. She soon moved down to carol’s
huge breasts and started to lick the underside of each one.
Carol’s nipples really grew. They looked like huge acorns. Amy
now began sucking them. Carol had not said a word. As her sucking
became more intense, I saw her slide her right hand into Carol’s
panties. At first lightly and then harder, she rubbed Carol’s
clitoris in a circular motion, every once in while sliding a
finger into her pussy. I found myself becoming quite aroused and
puzzled. I walked back outside and decided to make a loud
entrance so the girls would hear me coming into the house.

I waited about five minutes after making lots of noise with my
car. When I came in the door I was greeted by a “Hi, Mom” from
downstairs. I slowly walked down the stairs and smelled the aroma
that only a woman can make when she is excited. I told the girls
that I had had a headache and decided to come home. Amy asked if
I’d mind giving her a lift back to the dorm and I said I wouldn’t
mind at all.

We left Suzanne and Carol and got into the car. I asked Amy if
she had any other plans for the evening, when she suddenly
started to cry. I asked her what was the matter and she said that
she never had any plans or dates. Amy was the most beautiful
young girl I had ever seen. I told her this, and she replied that
because of that, guys were afraid to ask her out. She began
crying harder as I pulled into the parking lot of her dorm. I
shut off the engine and put my arm around her to comfort her. I
told her that I had similar in college and that the right guy
would come along for her. She turned toward me to hug me and
thank me.

As I returned the embrace, I accidentally brushed her against her
right breast. As if spellbound, I couldn’t move my hand. Amy
positioned herself so that her breast was now flat against my
hand. My passion overcame me. I started squeezing her breast
softly. She looked me straight in the eyes and kissed me softly
on the lips. My lips met hers almost mechanically, and I felt her
delicious tongue parting my lips and entering the warmth of my
willing mouth. I was now kissing her more passionately than I had
ever kissed any man.

She began telling me how beautiful I was as her hand gently
stroked my thighs. I couldn’t believe what was happening. She
took my hand and led me out of the car and into her dorm. My head
was spinning and my knees were weak. I felt my panties sticking
to my pussy. We entered her room and she immediately locked the
door behind us.

We drew close and clumsily began undressing each other. She threw
off her panties and moved me to the bed. I still had my skirt on
but she laid me down on the bed and slid my panties and panty
hose off at the same time. For the next fifteen minutes we wildly
kissed, stroked and sucked each other’s breasts lips and legs.

Finally Amy entered the outer folds of my pussy. She started stroking
my clit, entering my pussy every two or three circles. I grabbed her
head and pulled it to me. Our lips and tongues met and I told her
how much I wanted her. She spread my legs and pushed her pussy
against mine.

I lifted my legs so that my ankles were resting on her shoulders.
Amy’s hands were now flat on the bed, one on either side of my
shoulders. Her knees were now almost under my ass as we began to
grind together in a steady rhythm. I opened my eyes and looked up
at my beautiful lover. Amy was gazing at me and licking her lips
seductively. I felt my entire body begin to shake as my orgasm
came on. we both exploded within seconds. It was the most
incredible sex I had ever had. Amy collapsed on top of me, and I
must have drifted off for a few minutes.

I woke up to feel Amy’s hot and tender tongue licking the entire
length of my pussy. Each time she licked quicker and quicker and
penetrated my pussy a bit deeper. Finally her pace was incredibly
quick and I felt all the heat in my body rushing to my pussy. She
then stopped and said she had a surprise for me. She returned in a
second and inched her body up along mine. I suddenly felt
something pressing against my pussy lips. She had gotten a
double-headed dildo. With almost no effort she slipped the
twelve-inch monster into me. We gave it our best shot and fucked
each other several times. The best position for us was when Amy
entered my pussy from behind.

After a long while I looked at the clock and realized that I had
been with her for almost four hours. I quickly dressed, kissed my
beautiful Amy, and drove home. Carol had apparently departed and
Suzanne was asleep. I don’t know how long our relationship will
last, as Amy is graduating soon. I have enjoyed every minute.
Although I still love men, a beautiful woman is probably the best
sexual partner for me. Ladies, if you haven’t tried it, you
should.
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December 22, 2006

Cum Drinkers

Filed under: Uncategorized, Sex Stories, reality teen xxx , squirting teen xxx — Administrator @ 5:44 pm

Kate and Linda were sitting at Kate’s small dinette table one summer
morning, discussing the neighborhood gossip and local news. Their husbands
were out playing golf, and as was their wont, Kate and Linda got together to
chat, shop and generally goof off. Each was wearing short shorts and a light
blouse, as the summer weather was quite warm.

“I tell ya, honey, that husband of mine is a real dud in bed sometimes.
I dress sexy for him and talk sexy, and all he wants to do is shove it in me,
jerk a few times, come, and roll over and fall asleep. I really do miss the
wild times I used to have when I was younger, you know?” said Linda as she
slowly sipped at the cup of coffee in her hands.

“Exactly. I mean, I love Roger dearly, and wouldn’t really want to spend
my life with any other man, but jeeezus, I do get HORNY once in a while.”
Kate responded. “What’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever done, Lin?” she asked
almost shyly.

Linda looked at her for a few minutes, gauging the depths of the other
woman’s sensitivities. She swallowed the sip of warm coffee in her mouth and
leaned forwards surreptitiously.

“When I was in college I got drunk accidentally on purpose at a
fraternity party. After it got real late, I ended up being the only girl
there. The guys all started talking about their sexual conquests, and they
all claimed to be the worlds’ greatest lovers, you know?” She stopped for a
second to take another sip of coffee. “I said that any woman worth her salt
could outlast ten guys, and they all laughed. I challenged them. I got up
real slowly, and stripped as sexily as I could, without falling on my face!
A couple of the guys hauled some mattresses out to the living room, and I lay
down right in the center of them. I started stroking my cunt and licking my
lips really sexy, and before you know it, there were 20 or 30 naked guys
dancing around. I laid back, crooked my finger at the nearest one, and
motioned him over.

“What’ll it be, smarty?” I asked. He said he wanted to fuck me but good,
so he got down there, jerked his cock until it was hard, and shoved it in.
Let me tell you, these guys were just drunk enough so that they couldn’t last
very long. This first one must have stroked about 10 times before he shot off
straight up my pussy. The next guy wanted a blow job, so I sat up, stuffed
his teeny cock in my mouth, and a few seconds later had a sperm chaser after
all the beer I’d had.”

Linda stopped for a moment to look at her friend. Kate’s cheeks had
tinged a slight red and her eyes sparkled a bit, and Linda thought she could
see Kate’s nipples beginning to harden and poke out from the light blouse she
wore.

“Oh God, that’s hot! So what else?” queried Kate with a breathless
smile.

“So, for about the next 2 hours, I fucked and sucked every guy in that
frat house until there wasn’t a drop of sperm left in any of them, and it was
all up my pussy or down my throat, or mostly, all over my tits and face and
in my hair. At one time, I counted six guys jerking off all over my head
while I fucked this black football player’s ass off, and wouldn’t you know
they all came all over my hair and face. I had to stop and get a towel to
wipe the shit off my face. I was drenched in it, I swear!” whispered the
young wife.

“I never saw so much cum in all my life, before or since. They
absolutely ruined the mattresses, and when I finally got up, I leaked a trail
of sperm all over the house looking for a shower to rinse off in. But they
all were pooped out, and I could have gone on for another couple of hours by
then. It was great. But, I had to transfer to another college, because the
word got out, and everybody thought I was some kind of tramp or something,
so I left and went to the State University instead. That’s where I met Hank,
and we’ve been together ever since. I haven’t even seen another cock except
his since then.”

“Even on TV or a magazine or anything?” asked an incredulous Kate.

“Oh, hell, they don’t count! I’m talking about in the flesh! Hey, what
about you, Katie, what’s the wildest slutty thing YOU’VE ever done?”
questioned the leering Linda, leaning forward and licking her lips
devilishly.

“Well, I NEVER balled thirty guys in one night, if that’s what you
mean!” she responded. “In fact, I’ve never made it with more than one guy at
a time, even. Ummm, I guess the nastiest thing I ever did was ask Roger to
cum in my mouth one time while I was sucking him off.”

“ONE time! Are you telling me that you don’t sip the sperm cocktail,
young lady?” asked Linda in a mock stentorian tone.

“Wh-What?”

“You don’t swallow cum? You don’t let that gorgeous Roger shoot off in
your mouth?” Linda asked again.

“Well, it’s not that I don’t like him to, or that he hasn’t , a couple
of times. But he usually just wants to use my pussy instead, so we don’t do
a lot of oral sex or anything kinky. He doesn’t even like to lick me down
there either.”

“Oh shit honey, we’ve got to get you fucked and sucked up right one of
these days!” exclaimed the amazed Linda. “But anyway, tell me all about the
one time you let little Rog there blast off over your teeth. I wanna hear all
about it!”

“Well, it’s not as sexy a story as yours. Roger and I were making love,
and I was getting a little sore down there, you know, from all the pounding,
and I finally had to tell him to stop if he didn’t have an orgasm quickly.
He pulled out, and crawled up over me. His dick was all wet and red and
bouncing up and down right in front of my face. He grabbed the base of it and
waved it right in my face. I was fascinated with it, I tell you. He told me
to suck him off then, if I couldn’t bear to have him in my pussy. I started
to say that it was just that he was getting a bit rough, and before I could,
he poked me in the mouth with his cock. There must have been something about
it, I don’t know, but the moment that cock hit my lips, I just kinda quivered
all over and wanted to suck the guts out of him so badly, I didn’t know what
I was doing. I normally didn’t go for that deep throat stuff, but I grabbed
Roger’s ass and pulled him right into my mouth, as deep as I could. I think
it scared the shit out of him!”

“I can imagine!” answered Linda breathlessly. She had felt her own pussy
get a little wet as they talked, and now dropped one hand to her lap
furtively.

“So anyway, I pushed and pulled him in and out, actually fucking myself
with his cock in my mouth. Then, I don’t know what came over me, no pun
intended, I pulled his dick out of my mouth with one hand and looked up at
him. He was looking down at me like I was some kind of angel or something,
this totally incredible look on his face. I knew, deep down in my soul, then,
that I could have this amazing power over him, or any man, for that matter.
I knew what he wanted. We’d watched enough porno movies for me to see that
he always liked it when a guy spermed on a girl’s face or in her mouth. So
I looked him straight in the eye, and in the nastiest voice I could, I said
‘I want you to come right in my mouth, lover. I want to taste your sperm.’
I poured it on in the sluttiest way I could think of - you know, telling him
I wanted him to shoot his stuff all over my face and in my mouth and all that
really gross stuff we used to giggle about in high school. So I’m jerking him
a little bit, and then he just kind of grunted once and BAMMO! - right on
the kisser, he lets fly with that cock of his. I was so shocked I opened my
mouth in reflex and BAMMO! again, another spurt, this time right in my mouth.
I’m going crazy now, loving the feel of the stuff, and I jerk him some more,
and he shoots his stuff all over my face and in my mouth. It was in my hair,
and all down over my neck and tits and just all over the place!”

Kate finished breathlessly. Linda just looked at her and said “Wow.”,
arching her eyebrows knowingly. “So now you like eating cum, eh?”

“Well, I suppose so. But I don’t very often, ’cause in the last few
months, Roger’s gotten so busy with his job and all, that I’m lucky if we
even make love once or twice a month, much less have time for all kinds of
other fun stuff. But yeah, it was kinda neat, I really liked the feel of his
sperm spraying on me, and for some reason, I LOVED the taste of it - you
know, kinda bitter and salty, but interesting?”

“Katie darling, you don’t have to tell me. I’ve swallowed enough sperm
to float a battleship. It’s still my favorite drink!” she giggled. “It’s
amazing how icky and gross we would have thought this was a few years ago,
but God, now that I’ve done it, I just gotta say I love it! Hey! I’ve got an
idea!”

“What now?” Kate knew her friend had some deliciously wicked thought
that she was about to hear. “I know this is gonna involve sex and fucking,
so you might as well spit it out!”

“Kate, I NEVER spit it out!” Linda laughed. “No, what I thought was
this. We go around and see in how many different ways we can drink sperm. You
know, there’s gotta be other ways than straight from the tap, so to speak!”

“LINDA! What do you mean? Are you actually proposing that we suck other
guys off and swallow their cum? Are you crazy!”

“No, no, listen, it’s perfect. We turn the tables on the guys - you
know, wham bam thank ya ma’am? Well, we’ll make it wham bam thank ya mister!
They don’t have to know our names or anything, we’ll just rustle up, drain
‘em dry, and hustle off. They’ll go crazy wondering who we are, but they’ll
never see us again! It’s perfect!”

Kate stopped to think about it. It was the craziest idea she’d ever
heard, even from the usually whacked out Linda.

“You mean just go up to some guy we like the looks of, tell him we want
him to cum in our mouths and that’s it?”

“No, silly. That’d be too easy. No, we get them to give us our favorite
drink in strange and exciting ways! Oh hell, let’s see….like having a
waiter in a fancy restaurant jerk off in your coffee. Or the grocery delivery
boy pop off real fast in your car in the parking lot. Stuff like that!”

“Hmmmm. Yes, that could been really hot!” agreed Kate. “And we could
keep track of each of the ways that we get them to do it! Yeah, that’s
great!” she clapped her hands excitedly. “When do we start?”

“Right now, if you’re game!”

Forty-five minutes later found the ladies strolling the local mall. They
had changed into short skirts and very light sweaters. Linda had decided that
they would alternate with the ideas for getting the cum from the men they
eyed, and she would go first. She thought it would be exciting to try to
seduce a shoe salesman into giving her a sip of his sperm. The girls walked
into the first store they found with few customers and a likely looking guy.
He as a tall, dark-haired man they both found attractive. Linda sat down in
one of the fitting chairs, crossed her long legs, and inched her skirt up
even more. The salesman hurried over.

“Yes, miss, what can I do for you today?”

“Well, I thought it might be time for a new pair of high heels, what do
you think” Linda teased, stretching her leg out and twisting and turning it,
showing off her long slim leg to great advantage.

“Um, well, I suppose so. What heel height did you have in mind, and what
size are you?”

“I’m a size seven. And I just love a four or five inch heel, don’t you?
Don’t you think it makes my ass stand out real nice?” And so saying, Linda
quickly stood and turned around, thrusting her firm ass right in the
salesman’s face. He stammered and gulped, rising quickly. Linda checked.
‘Yep, a boner. This one’s gonna be easy…’ she thought to herself.

“Just let me go check the back, see what we have.” he said, blushing.
He turned and walked through a door into the rear stock area. Turning quickly
to make sure Kate had an eye on things, she followed him back there, and shut
the door behind her.

“Hey, lady, you can’t -” his protest was cut short by Linda lifting up
her skirt.

“Like what you see, pretty boy? Well, this pussy belongs to my husband,
and he’s the only man who’ll have it anytime soon, if I have anything to say
about it. But I like your looks. Take out your cock.”

The man simply stared at her. He didn’t know what to do, and not wishing
to waste any time, Linda walked over to him, threw one arm around his neck
and kissed him full and hard on the lips.

“Ok, then I will.” she said. She bent to her knees, and rubbed the
rapidly growing bulge at the front of his pants. “Hey, feels like you’ve got
a nice one here. Let’s let it out to breath a bit.”

She slid the zipper down and fished around inside his underwear, finally
extracting a bona fide boner. It wasn’t especially large or fat, but seemed
adequate. ‘Besides’, Linda thought, ‘it isn’t going anywhere where size means
anything!’ She bent to lick at the head. The salesman groaned.

“Oh god lady, I don’t know what you came here for, but that feels good,
just keep on sucking….”

Linda stopped and looked up at him. “Honey, I want your most expensive
pair of Italian leather high heels, right now and right here. Before I go any
further.” As if to accentuate her point, Linda straightened up and smoothed
her dress back down. The salesman hurried down the aisle, finally finding the
shoes Linda demanded.

“And while you’re there, an nice pair of suede boots, too!” He grabbed
a large box from the shelves. As he walked back, Linda swept her sweater up
over her head, freeing her nicely formed breasts. The man’s eyes bugged out
and his cock twitched.

“Are these shoes waterproof?” Linda demanded.

“Ah, yes, yes, they are, as a matter of fact..” mumbled the salesman,
peering quizzically at one of the tags.

“Good. Now I’m gonna suck you, and you’re gonna love it. But, and this
is a big but, no coming in my mouth. If I taste even the tiniest drop of your
spunk before I tell you to cum, then out you go and you’ll be shooting all
over your pants. Got that?”

“Yeah, sure, I guess so.” Who wants to look a gift blow-job in the
mouth, right?

Linda sat on one of the small stools, and motioned him over. He walked
up to her, and she leaned forward and fed his still-hard cock into her mouth.
Linda prided herself on her cocksucking talents, and it wasn’t long before
she had the man groaning and moaning in pleasure. She stroked his shaft as
she mouthed the tip of his cock, wetting him down with her saliva. All the
time she sucked at him, she keep looking at him, looking for that fateful
sign of the impending orgasm.

While one hand stroked and massaged his balls, the other felt for one
of the leather shoes. Linda kept on sucking the man’s cock, dragging it into
her mouth, rolling her talented tongue around the head, squeezing the shaft
with her lips.

Finally the man started to shudder. “Oh jeesuz I’m gonna cum in a sec”
the man grunted. Linda looked up at him. She whipped his cock out of her
mouth just as she felt the vein begin to pulse, just as he closed his eyes
in ecstasy. Pumping his prick with one hand, with the other she brought the
shoe up. Aiming his cock right into the inside of the shoe, she jerked the
man to an orgasm. SPURT! SPURT! SPURT! right into the soft leather lining
of the shoe, spit his cock’s load. Linda milked him off, every drop of the
large load collecting in the heel of the shoe as she tilted it back. Finally
he was empty.

Linda looked at him. “Bet you never saw a girl do this before.” she said
calmly and quietly. Then staring him right in the face, she tilted the back
of the shoe up to her mouth, and let the entire puddle of semen flow directly
across her lips into her mouth. As the shoe emptied, Linda lifted it above
her face, letting the last few drops drip out and land with a small plop on
her cheeks and chin.

“Ummmm, my favorite. Cum ala Giorgio.” She dropped the shoe back into
the box. “I’ll take them. Don’t bother wrapping them.” He was too astounded
to say anything, but nodded his head. Linda picked up the shoes, the suede
boots, and tossing the sweater back over her head, walked back out into the
front of the store as if nothing had happened. As she walked past one elderly
matron looking at rubber-soled shoes, Linda couldn’t help herself. She slid
one finger along her cheekbone, sliding the small drops of sperm there
together until they made a noticeable shiny trail on her face. The older
woman looked at her and gaped in horror.

Linda grabbed Kate’s arm and they rushed out of the store, dissolving
in a fit of giggles and laughter like school girls.

“Well, what’d you do, tell me, tell me!” gushed Kate. Linda sat her down
at a bench a few yards down the aisle, and opened the shoe box.

“Look.” she pointed in at the large wet stain occupying the back of the
inside of one shoe. “I sucked him, and jerked him off into it. Then I drank
his cum right out of the shoe! You should have seen his face! The poor guy
doesn’t know what hit him even yet! And I got the shoes, and this pair of
boots for my troubles!”

Kate looked at her. “You know, I think I could get to like this game!”

“Honey, you ain’t seen nothin yet!” answered the flushed Linda.

December 21, 2006

Redneck Teen

Mark the redneck pervert took a girl out on their first date.
When they pulled off into a secluded area, the girl said,
“My mother told me to say no to everything.”

“Well,” Mark said, “do you mind if I put my arm around you?”

“No,” the girl replied.

“Do you mind if I put my other hand on your knee?” asked Mark.

“N-n-no,” the girl replied.

“You know,” Mark said,
“We’re going to have a lot of fun if you’re serious about this.”

December 18, 2006

Funny Jokes

Filed under: Uncategorized, Sex Stories, fetish teen xxx, anal teen xxx , hardcore teen xxx — Administrator @ 4:05 pm

Q: What’s the best way to kill a man?
A: Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him.
Then tell him to pick only one.

Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every
woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to instruction manuals

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December 14, 2006

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